Happy New Year people.
Hope you’ve all recovered from festivities, or they are still going. We have all experienced 3 days of 2012, some of which were no doubt spent in in alcoholic haze. In the rare moments of clarity i’ve had some thoughts….
1. Life blows without the cricket. I don’t miss it during the winter, but when a summer test match finishes, I feel an overwhelming sense of loss that I then fill with Peroni’s. Thank god it’s back on and life is good again.
2. The new facebook layout is confusing and I don’t understand it. It scares me and I want the old one back, where I knew how to interact with my virtual friends and I didn’t feel like a grandmother in JB Hi- Fi.
3. If you ever need to get a Kris Kringle present for anyone for under $20, get them an backyard cricket set. It is simply the most awesome gift there is.
4. Hangovers operate under the law of diminishing returns. The hangover on day 2 of a Christmas/New Years bender isn’t as bad as day 1, and Day 3 is even better. Keep going and you’ll feel great.
5. Peter Siddles angry bitch face is why I love Australia so much. He is like Merv Hughes’ punk nephew who loves taking wickets and sculling Tequila. See below
6. Get a iPad. They don’t seem to have any use and then you buy one and can’t live without it. I even take it to the toilet, just in case i’m in for a long stint.
7. Buying a new diary really annoys me. You get one in the new year, but they always start at December 1. Then there’s all this blank space at the start, sitting there all year reminding you how unorganised you are.
8. I don’t care about the Big Bash. Too many teams with stupid names like the Renegades and the Strikers, and they are all dressed in Drag. Even my undying love for Warney hasn’t helped. Here is the big fella in Big Bash drag, or it might be a wax version of him from Madame Tussauds… what do you think?
9. The new Bupa ads are creepy. You know the ones where people meet a better version of themselves. I guess I don’t like them because i;m not sure which version i would be. That, and I kind of think the rough versions of the girls are hotter.
10. Bupa is a stupid name. I’m embarrassed to be a member. Bring back MBF already.
11. I’m sick of hearing about Sonny Bill Williams, and what he is going to do next with his career. No matter whether it’s another year in Union, a return to League, or a shock move to the Irish Badminton team, all I ever hear is he is going to ‘leave to door open.’ With so many open doors, it must be cold in his house.
12. Slats is pretty good on the Cricket Show. I do miss Simon O’Donnell though and how it took him 45 seconds to spit out a sentence.
13. I’ll say i have no interest in the Tennis, until it comes on and then i’ll be there watching Lleyton lose an epic 3rd round five setter till 4am. Then i’ll go back to zero interest until Wimbledon.
14. I’d be willing to bet Mark Nicholas doesn;t get invited to commentary team bonding sessions down the pub. If i was Richie, i’d tell him we were meeting at the 9th green at 9pm, Happy Gilmour style. Smug unit he is..